Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Stroke of Death (Shaw Brothers)

                This movie didn’t have a plot that I followed very easily, but I did enjoy all of the martial arts work in it.    In fact, I’m pretty sure that this movie is where the female wrestler MsChief got her finishing move from, as it can be seen in this very movie.

Ninja, Demon's Massacre

                This movie is hilarious, though not a traditional martial arts movie by far.    Most of the people in this seem to be Americans, but they’re dubbed as British and our main star Max is Australian.   This movie has some crazy sound, characters off screen when they’re talking and just all around the qualities of a b movie.    For that reason, I will not give this a lengthy review, because I don’t really see it as a martial arts film.
                The one thing I do want to say about this film is how annoying it is that every time Max seemingly dies, he somehow reveals that he knew about their plan to begin with.   Oh, like he knew they’d hit him with knives in the shoulders and thighs?   What if they hit your face? 
                But yeah, this movie is just bad.   I bought it because the back of the video said it was $59.99 (slightly higher in Canada) and the front said it was on sale for $9.99.   Granted, I only paid a dollar for it, but I had to see what kind of video tape sold for $60.

Fong Sai Yuk 2 (Jet Li)

                This isn’t too much different from the first one.  It has minimal plot, but much action.   In the beginning there is a great scene involving sparklers and other fireworks.   Toward the end, the mom is now in danger of being hanged so she must be saved by constantly putting benches under her to stand on.   I like seeing all of the benches kicked around and the way that they have to move to try and keep the mom from dying.   It’s such a great end scene, even if the plot is kind of stale.   You’re at least getting some good action in the two Fong Sai Yuk movies.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Fong Sai Yuk (Jet Li)

  
              This movie isn’t very strong on the plot.  If you’re going to watch this movie for a good story, then there are probably better choices out there for you.  
                The main storyline sees a ruler hold a kung fu tournament to determine who will marry his daughter because he thinks it will help him seem more like one of the people.   Meanwhile, Jet Li’s character is out having a relay race with only three people and he needs a fourth so he asks a woman who ends up being the daughter later auctioned off for marriage.   You can see where all of this is going, right?   Plus there is a list that everyone wants, a husband who beats his wife to save face and, you know, just general mayhem.
                Now, aside from the plot, this movie has a great amount of action and the action itself is great.  Even the mother in this movie- who sells cloth- is an expert and puts on quite a show.    There are several scenes (especially the final one) where you can just sit and watch with your jaw hanging open.   No, you don’t really need to follow the plot here.   You don’t really need to read the subtitles to know what’s going on.   Just watch them when they fight and be amazed.   Right from the start, a guy gets his jaw ripped off and another guy gets his arm pushed out through his elbow.   It isn’t all that gruesome, but there definitely is a lot of action for what was such a long time ago and now seems every day in martial arts movies.   Yes, this has to have some of the truly greatest scenes of all time in it.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Born to Defend (Jet Lee)

When this movie first starts, our main character Jack (played by Jet Li, but billed as Jet Lee) is fighting in a war against the Japanese.  I immediately notice how hard it must be to fight on the Japanese side because their flags pretty much look like targets.   At one point, there is a tank that loses its wheels which reminds me of an old episode of The Simpsons.

Jack comes back from the war (much like Rambo) and finds his uncle.  Together, they drive a rickshaw, which is an honest living and so far everything seems good.   Then we enter those lousy American soldiers, technically the Navy, who cause all sorts of trouble. 

                The funny part of this movie is that it all begins with a condom.   One Navy sailor is waving around a condom for some reason, and then it goes flying as elastic tends to do and virtually starts a bar brawl.   This leads to Jack fighting a sailor in the boxing ring.   Oh, did I not mention that this bar has a punching bag and boxing ring?   When we first visit the bar, there is a woman dancing around in said boxing ring.   I mean, really, having a boxing ring inside your bar is just kind of asking for trouble, isn’t it?
                So Jack and the sailor fight, which is like something straight out of a cartoon.   First, Jack tries to throw kicks, but then he’s told he can’t use his feet.   Then, he flips the sailor over and he’s told he can’t do that either.   I’m going back and forth in my own mind as to whether or not this is a kickboxing match or just a straight up boxing match, but I’m pretty sure it was just supposed to be a boxing match.    Eventually (and mainly because of all of his misunderstanding of the rules) Jack wins and I think that this movie is about to end, Rocky style.  Mind you, I was watching this VHS tape rather late at night and had no real concept of time.
                Boy was I wrong.
                Jack’s uncle gets hurt, so Jack has to take over the rickshaw.   This movie really wants to make the American soldiers look like heels because as Jack is trying to drive a woman going into labor to the local hospital, these four sailors are messing with him and trying to keep him from getting there.   When Jack finally gets to the hospital, the sailors take his rickshaw with their jeep and destroy it.   This part of the movie really frustrated me.   Why would anyone- no matter how much they wanted to make these U.S. soldiers seem like the bad guys- be so blatantly cruel?
                So here we have Jack now, with no profession to speak of because his livelihood has just been destroyed.   He goes to the bar owner to try and find the guys, but the bar owner just wants to give him some money to cover it up.   Jack refuses and ends up taking a job as the sparring partner of the sailor from the beginning who he fought Rocky style.   This part of the movie is also hard to watch, as Jack continues to take punishment and has to realize he can’t fight back because he is just sparring.  Eventually, Jack has that Rocky moment of adrenaline when he’s begging the guy to hit him and the sailor just gives up. 
                Jack is set to come back the next day and spar with the sailor again, but instead this big guy with a beard from the beginning of the movie steps in and says they’re fighting instead.   He said the other soldier showed no honor because he was basically paying him to be beaten.   So, beardo here decides they’re going to have about as fair of a fight as they can, considering that he’s at least three times the size of Jack.    This fight just escalates into a giant bar room brawl.   As the bar owner says on the phone to the Chinese police:  It’s the U.S. kids versus the locals!    Again, I thought this was the end of the movie.   Wrong again was I.
                Jack has this big argument with his uncle because his daughter is a hooker and eventually they come to terms and realize it’s not that bad so they fight and make up pretty quickly.   Then these sailors are bothering the daughter (who is the hooker) so Jack and his uncle go after them.   The sailors push them off of a second story ledge and both Jack’s uncle and daughter (that is the daughter of Jack’s uncle, Jack has no children) are dead.
                At this point, the movie becomes a revenge flick as Jack hunts down the responsible parties and kills them all with no remorse.   This movie promises action, mayhem and all of that and it delivers.   It takes a beating and keeps on going.   This movie shows that Jet Li is one tough man.